I Tamed the First Rank Chapter 66
- HoshiMiya
- Jun 15
- 8 min read
“I swear I’ll never die in front of you, Yoo-shin-ssi.”
“………………But I’m still Gyu-ha-ssi’s weakness.”
“I’ll become stronger so that what you’re worried about will not happen.”
It was a simple childlike answer. However, it was not as simple or light, but rather, a dense emotion rippling in his eyes.
In Yoo-shin groaned softly as if he was suffocating in the swamp of such dense emotions. I had not seen it until now, blinded by his usual light and mischievous words and actions. He had probably been looking at me with the same gaze since I said I wanted to end this relationship.
“Is it because I erased Gyu-ha-ssi’s boredom?”
“I can’t say there is no reason for that either.”
“They’re all forced emotions.”
Because he was irrevocably bound to him, expressing it in words was difficult, and the sincerity he had been silently dwelling on finally flowed out weakly.
I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have tied him to myself.
Even knowing that relying on forcibly injected emotions will only make oneself more miserable, the trembling of the tilting heart is difficult. How can I cut it off with just rational judgment? Someone who treats me so affectionately, even though I am worthless and useless.
Since even that affection is fake, In Yoo-shin also knows that there is no other way but to end this relationship.
“I know that Gyu-ha-ssi is considerate and helpful to me. Those are all fakes, too, forcibly patched together and altered by taming, aren't they?”
“…….”
“You said from the beginning that you wanted to kill me. That is the real feeling Gyu-ha feels towards me……………….”
Because it is a real feeling. Isn’t it a real feeling? It feels like a real feeling.
Whatever he was going to say, however he intended to end his sentence, all of it became useless. Because the sadness of the abandoned child, which he had been blurting out incoherently, was erased by Hyeon Gyu-ha's lips.¹
If it means existing alone in the world, Hyeon Gyu-ha resembled his father, whose face he had never seen. And he thought that was probably the only thing in common between father and son.
He was born as the only child of the king who supported the world that was going to collapse, and was burdened by the duty that had been given to him. He had no time to look around. He was also immature in examining other people's feelings and hearts. In that time, he had to run one step further.
The betrayal from someone he trusted 14 years ago led Hyeon Gyu-ha to a more self-righteous and stubborn path.
He had only two paths. Either die or open up another passage. Since that fate was intertwined, Hyeon Gyu-ha did not care about the circumstances of the people living in this world.
<I-I will be the hostage i-instead.>
Hyeon Gyu-ha used to be like that.
The passing glances, flowing breaths, the highs and lows of the voice. He was the only one who could read the heart, sympathize deeply, and let the other person's agitation seep into him more deeply, while seeing through the fragments of emotions revealed in that way.
Only In Yoo-shin shakes up the emotions that have quietly settled in the swamp of boredom.
Only In Yoo-shin lets him experience this world that had been meaninglessly passing by.
Hyeon Gyu-ha ate tteokbokki at a snack shop for the first time, went to a coin karaoke, killed time by having trivial conversations, grilled meat in a dungeon, and slept soundly under a tent. In Yoo-shin was always by his side in all his first experiences.
Was it all because of the emotions that were forced upon me?
'But it doesn't matter.'
He was conceived in his mother's womb for his father.
Even his name, the three letters, was a mother's heart that yearned for his father.
Since Hyeon Gyu-ha had never had anything of his own before he was born, he now welcomes the desperate entanglement that was forcibly injected into him. Although he may not have wanted it to begin with, the unfamiliar experience caused by In Yoo-shin and the resonance that spread through his heart were entirely his own.
So even though he knew that it shouldn't be this way, even though he knew that his fate was eternal loneliness, he couldn't deny the only thing he had.
"You said from the beginning that you wanted to kill me. That's the real feeling that you feel towards me, Gyu-ha-ssi……”
The memory of being abandoned is so painful that I swallow my breath, afraid to even take the first step.
He licked his lips that were open gently, and gently wiped away the wet breath.
Hyeon Gyu-ha realizes that one of his murderous desires, which had been wanting to kill him and cut off this relationship, has quietly subsided.
Emotions that were so complicated that he didn’t even know the name of them are finally taking on a vivid form.
[Current status: Murderous intent. Affection.]
His murderous intent is once again directed at just one person.
Father.
My father, who should not have been born.
What is this ringing in my ears? My head is completely dizzy, as if filled with a hazy fog.
Hyeon Gyu-ha, still bending down, slowly wiped his wet lips with his fingertips and smiled, his eyes slightly closed.
“Does this even seem fake?”
Belatedly, he flinched at those words, and he gently hugged his waist, which was about to step back without him knowing.
“Would you like to feel my heartbeat?”
A rough but extremely gentle hand guided one hand to his chest. Left chest. The only name engraved there. Beneath the skin, muscles, and bones, a red lump of flesh the size of a fist. That resonance.
<This is the first time I’ve felt my heartbeat like this since I was born. Do you want to touch it?>
A vivid beating that made his palms tingle, enough to make his anger from some time past pale in comparison, spread to Inyushin’s heart.
“If you think even this is fake, I think I’ll be really sad.”
“…….”
In Yoo-shin couldn’t give any answer. However, his eyes, which were entangled in confusion, were the real answer, so Hyeon Gyu-ha swallowed his bitter resentment.
“Shall I tell you a story from the old days?”
“…….”
“14 years ago, I killed a man I once considered my own father with my own hands.”
The eyes that had been in confusion were not moved by those words. Hyeon Gyu-ha asked back, savoring the firmness pleasantly.
“Aren’t you scared of me, killing someone who was like my real father?”
“There must be a reason why Gyu-ha-ssi did something like that……………….”
In Yoo-shin’s throat moved slightly.
“I think there must be a reason I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you trust my feelings when you trust me?”
“That’s……………….”
In Yoo-shin’s lips that had been opening and closing silently were tightly shut. If I kiss those lips again, he’ll be really surprised this time. Hyeon Gyu-ha suppressed his regret and hugged his cheek instead. Yet, I’m surprised once again. Where in his small cheek that fit in one hand was the warmth that thrilled my heart?
"Let's assume that the taming is lifted as Yoo-shin-ssi said, and the fake emotions are washed away. Since all of that was fake, do you think that all the time I spent with Yoo-shin-ssi was also fake? As soon as the taming is lifted, will you and I become no different from strangers?"
“I felt joy, anger, sadness, and pleasure while spending each day with you. The emotions I felt for the first time in my life became memories and were engraved in my soul, but even this feels fake?”
In Yoo-shin’s gaze, which had been blinking in confusion, dropped down.
“……I don’t know.”
“I can release the taming as planned and experiment to see if it’s really fake.”
He tilted his head slightly to the side.
“How can I do such an experiment……”
He's such an excessively kind person. If it were me, I would have killed anyone who forced me to do such a bothersome thing before even starting the experiment. Hyeon Gyu-ha suppressed the urge to swallow again and moved his hand, which had been cupping his cheek, down. His fingertips, now on his neck, traced the pulse.
My heart is racing with tension, embarrassment, and confusion, but not at the same pace as yours. That's okay. It's my responsibility to match your speed.
"Then let's try another experiment. Not the fake love we've been pretending to have, but a real love."
“…….”
"Even if we date, and I repeatedly confirm and confront my feelings, if it still feels fake."
“……”
Hyeon Gyu-ha gently kissed In Yoo-shin’s forehead with confidence.
“You can end our relationship then as you wish.”
If it was the In Yoo-shin he knew, he would never be able to refuse so coldly. Several minutes that felt like years passed, and Hyeon Gyu-ha tasted In Yoo-shin’s breath again, responding cautiously.
No wonder, Master was different from usual today.
“Kyuu……………?”
8-se tilted his head inside the cage and looked outside. Master always woke up just in time for work when he worked in the morning. The king’s son always came to drive him to work, so he woke up even later.
Master, who seemed to be tossing and turning without sleeping properly, woke up an hour early and started to squirm. It took twice as long to shower than usual, and he took out clothes from the hanger one by one for each day of the week, took them off, put them on, took them off, put them on again, and repeated that.
"Isn't it strange......? Even if I change the clothes, they're all the same………………"
"Squeak. Squeak."
He wanted to express his opinion that the owner looked good no matter what he wore, but In Yoo-shin understood it differently.
"Do you want to come to work with me today?"
"Squeak!"
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, but accompanying you, Master, is always welcome. 8-se crawled out of the cage and ran, and In Yoo-shin regained emotional stability while petting 8-se, who fit perfectly in his hand.
"Whew. It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. It's just the Gyu-ha-ssi I always see."
The fake relationship became real and they just kissed. It's okay. It's okay....... Then, when In Yoo-shin remembered the feeling of their lips and tongues touching, his neck turned bright red.
I don't know where Hyeon Gyu-ha's feelings were sincere. Even so, the warmth of the body temperature I felt through his lips and the heat that seeped deep into me were so vivid that it felt like my heart was dyed the same color.
When he finally raised his head from his thoughts, it was already time to go to work. Hyeon Gyu-ha must have arrived in front of the house. He put the 8-se in his pouch and was about to get up when he heard the doorbell ring.
'Ugh. I guess Gyu-ha-ssi is up.'
In Yoo-shin took a deep breath and answered cautiously.
"I'm going out now."
The moment his hands, stiff with tension, unlocked the door and opened it, In Yoo-shin's eyes were filled with surprise.
HM: I can’t believe this….
ET: yo so if you don't understand i think it's because Gyu ha kissed yoo shin??? And the next paragraph is gyu ha’s back story becuz i was confused too lololol
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Credits:
Translator: Hoshi Miya
Editor/Proofreader: Editor M, eteryl
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Wait........What ? They kissed 🤨🤔