I Tamed the First Rank Chapter 64
- HoshiMiya
- 3 days ago
- 7 min read
"It's natural that Grandma doesn't want to see me. If I hadn't told them to go to the mountains to play, my parents wouldn't have passed away."
In Yoo-shin unconsciously touched the ring on his left ring finger and lowered his head.
I should have said I wanted to go to the sea instead. Since I was too young to go to the faraway Seonchang Mountain, I should have thrown a tantrum to my parents who were planning a trip to nearby Gamaksan Mountain in Paju. On the day of the trip, I should have had a stomachache and postponed the congratulatory party.
Anywhere was fine, but I had to avoid Gamaksan Mountain that day.
<Ji-won-ah! Ji-won-aaaaah……………!>
The grandmother collapsed before the body of her daughter, whose limbs were not even intact. Her only child, whom she had raised with utmost devotion, like gold and jade, after losing her husband at a young age and working tirelessly through all sorts of hardships.
How much did my heart ache with worry, watching my daughter go in and out of dangerous gates as a hunter, fearing she would get hurt? It hasn't even been a few years since I was relieved that she became a firefighter, a job where she wouldn't have to hunt monsters, but she ended up dying at the hands of a monster after all. While trying to protect a child who wasn't even her own blood.
How did I raise her? Without even thinking about the mother left behind, she flew away, so hastily, for a child who isn't even her own blood. When I lost my husband, I had a daughter. Now that I have lost my daughter, what is left?
The grandmother clutched her chest and cried so loudly that her insides felt like they were being torn apart. The child could not even cry out loud next to her.
The rest of the damaged body was never found. He heard that if it weren't for a hunter who entered the scene after learning of the incident, they would not have found the body.
Kim Jeong-hoon's body was even more gruesome. The father, who had become a firefighter because he was able to minimize burns, suffered terrible burns that crushed and burned his back while protecting his son.
Many people shed tears over the couple's final journey, but nothing could fill the pain of the parents who had sent their child away.
<Why you! Why are you alive!>
The grandmother would sometimes cry.
<If it weren't for you, Ji-won wouldn't have died!>
Sometimes I resented it.
<Yoo-shin-ah, Yoo-shin-ah. I'm sorry, Grandma. I'm sorry. I think I've lost my mind.>
Sometimes I cried like a child.
After the funeral, which was full of wailing, the scene in the house where he lived alone with his grandmother was mostly like that. Sometimes, his grandmother would apologize with tears in her eyes. However, the days when she had to endure resentment and hatred were much longer.
The child became a silent boy again.
In front of his grandmother's miserable sadness, the child gave up the right to express his pain through crying. The pain that he could not express in words was not relieved at all and became a deep bruise in his heart.
Just as the expression on the child's face began to disappear, a sharp slap flew to his cheek.
Careful not to let his voice tremble, In Yoo-shin took a deep breath.
"My grandmother hit me on the street... The police who happened to be passing by found me right away."
In front of those who talked about child abuse, the grandmother kicked the child several times while crying that it had eaten her daughter. She was immediately isolated, the child received psychiatric counseling, and the grandmother was sentenced.
The abandoned child stood in front of the orphanage again.
"When I was first expelled, the kids teased me really meanly, but when I was expelled the second time, they just pretended not to know. I don't know what the teacher said. The atmosphere was really heavy, but two months later, money laundering was discovered………………."
Hyun Gyu-ha, who was sitting next to me and looking up at the sky, blurted out.
"What happened to Grandma? What happened after that?"
"I heard later that she didn't even appeal. But anyway………………."
A heavy sigh fell under his feet.
"I think she hit me in front of the police on purpose. That was the only time Grandma ever touched me, and she only pretended to kick me."
"Why?"
"......I don't know."
In Yoo-shin shook his head quietly.
It's not that I didn't guess. But I was a sinner who didn't have the right to understand my grandmother's feelings.
I met many good people at Dalgasa Orphanage.
The child who had lost his smile was now exchanging silly jokes with his friends, older brother, and younger brother, and following the monks, but the bruise that had formed did not fade at all. The grandmother's bloody sobs brought tears to the child's heart.
Even though he laughed without reason, he always had a hard time.
It felt like all the joy and pleasure he was enjoying was taking away his parents' share. If they hadn't adopted him, his parents wouldn't have died.
And as a firefighter and an awakened person, he would have saved many people.
Unlike himself, who had finally awakened his ability but was unable to save anyone and was struggling just to get through each day. How many people could his parents have failed to save because of him?
Therefore, In Yoo-shin is convinced that there is a difference in the value of human life.
The person who had to come out of the pension alive that day was not him, but his parents.
"You are also a great person, Gyu-ha-ssi, just like your deceased parents. There are so many things that someone like me can't even imagine, but if even you, Gyu-ha-ssi.............”
The words that I couldn't bring myself to say out loud were swallowed back and clawed at my heart. Do I have any certainty that Hyeon Gyu-ha, who is as attached to me like my deceased adoptive parents, or even more so, won't follow the same path as them?
When I realized that he had no choice but to rely on and cling to his Tamer, I felt a vague sense of dread. A child who was abandoned at birth and was expelled twice is most afraid of holding onto hope and expectation. (this is a visual overlapping scene between IYS and his younger version.)
How much of a forced, illusory relationship is true? How can I expect more from someone whose heart would immediately cool down if the taming were lifted?
The fear of a child who had been abandoned repeatedly and could not dare to rely on people changed as time passed.
<………………Don’t abandon me.>
His words were, in a sense, more fearful than the fear of being abandoned.
Every time I saw him needing me more than I had imagined, the tears of blood flowing from the bruise I had been holding inside grew thicker. It wasn’t enough to drive my parents to death, but I couldn’t let him die. Absolutely.
“I keep thinking that if I’m with you, Gyu-ha-ssi, you might be in more danger.”
Hyeon Gyu-ha’s gaze, which had been fixed on the air, slowly lowered down. His eyes, which had been slowly scanning, lingered on In Yoo-shin’s eyes, which were suppressing pain, and a smile appeared.
“I think I’m going to die because of you?”
How horrible it is to hear a series of words that I couldn’t bring yourself to spit out in a sentence. In Yoo-shin tightly closed his eyes and opened them.
“……yea.”
"I'm strong. I'm sorry to use the deceased as an example, but even if 100 of them came, they would only cut off 1 second to me."
"I know that too. I'm sure that Gyu-ha-ssi wouldn't be the type of person who would be defeated by someone, to the point where you could put the word 'absolutely' in front of him. If you were alone, you would never die, Gyu-ha-ssi."
"But why?"
"I'm Gyu-ha-ssi's weakness."
Let's assume a case.
If Hyeon Gyu-ha's enemy takes him, who is nothing more than a weakness, as a hostage. If he is put in danger in a place where Hyeon Gyu-ha can't see. If Hyeon Gyu-ha has to put his life on the line because of that.
He would put his neck on the line without hesitation.
Even after repeatedly thinking about it, this was not a normal relationship.
“Dr. Cho said that theoretically there is a way to solve the taming issue.”
“I shouldn't have brought you.”
"It's a relationship that was established on the premise of being alive, and since the contract is terminated upon death, if one of them falls into a state of death, it can be terminated. There will be some aftereffects when they wake up, but they will recover slowly."
"That…… makes sense."
Hyeon Gyu-ha nodded, touching his chin. He pretended not to see that and continued to speak.
"I'm not saying to terminate it right away. I want to help Gyu-ha-ssi with something he is looking for."
Hyeon Gyu-ha's chronic boredom, which makes him give up until death, is because he is not making any progress in what he is looking for. If I help him with that and help him get what he has been chasing his whole life, his boredom will disappear.
If that happens, I will become nothing more than a worthless weakness that is of no help to him.
"When that happens, Gyu-ha-ssi won't need someone like me, so taming’s………………..."
"Let's do that."
"Release the taming……………….. What did you just say?"
He looked up, wondering if he had misheard, but his gaze, smiling broadly and looking down, remained calm as ever.
"The master wants to end it, so what power does a weak little rat have? End it the way you want."
“Master wants to end it, but what power does a weak rat have? I’ll end it as I want.”
“Ah, that……………….”
“Well, there’s no need to hold on until you find everything, so don’t wait too long and contact Dr. Cho right away.”
When he readily agreed, who he thought would not respond easily, In Yoo-shin was the one who was surprised.
“But there is a condition.”
HM: “.........” TwT ; I cried a lil
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Credits:
Translator: Hoshi Miya
Editor/Proofreader: Editor M, eteryl
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